Limericks

Me in my twenties (the one on the right)

Picking my nose in the nude
Might seem a little bit rude
But it’s in to the knuckle
And with any luck’ll
Be out while we’re still in the mood.

The expulsion of waste from the bowels
With the usual grunting of vowels
Occasions such pleasure
That ladies of leisure
Sit and strain till it jiggles their jowls.

Although toes were his favorite dish
Hers were riper than he could quite wish.
The solution he found
Was to work his way down
And have the cheese after the fish.

I hang from the bedstead above you,
And now I must surgically glove you,
So that we can extract
With exquisite tact

A nice little souvenir of you.


A restored limerick told me in fragments by a Hydra bartender W.H. Auden recited it to:

Said the king to the queen, We do frown on
Your getting in bed with your crown on;
We lie there in fear
Lest the points come too near
And we're gored when we’re being gone down on.


Also by Robert MacLean, the "Toby" books,
Will You Please Fuck Off? at Amazon USAmazon UKAmazon FRAmazon DEAmazon ITAmazon ES and Smashwords;
Foreign Matter at Amazon USAmazon UKAmazon FRAmazon DEAmazon ITAmazon ES and Smashwords; 
Total Moisture at Amazon USAmazon UKAmazon FRAmazon DEAmazon ITAmazon ES and Smashwords; 
and these, too,
Mortal Coil: A Comedy of Corpses at Amazon USAmazon UKAmazon FRAmazon DE, Amazon IT and Amazon ES;
The President's Palm Reader: A Washington Comedy at Amazon USAmazon UKAmazon FRAmazon DEAmazon IT and Amazon ES; and
Greek Island Murder at Amazon USAmazon UKAmazon FRAmazon DEAmazon IT and Amazon ES.

3 comments:

  1. well, real fantastic
    great

    Jason-Tyler Reeves

    ReplyDelete
  2. ah, ha ha, good! Very informative and funny. You remember funny info best. I didn't know 99% of the above info.
    Great.

    SC

    ReplyDelete