Feminism

(A chapter in YOU HAVE UPSET THE BALANCE OF THE UNIVERSE BY BEING BORN: Advice on How to Live by Dr Robert MacLean, PhD: http://robertmaclean.blogspot.com/p/you-have-upset-balance-of-universe-by.html.  A new one every so often.)
    
    Freud taught us that every act is sexual (see Freud).  With the women's movement we have emerged into that Periclean light of day in which every act is political.
    It is in some places now illegal to speak of women as in any way different from men.  If you are a man you may feel you know better but try to keep the issue in the background.  They taught you how to put on your own pants.  You didn't like that.  They taught you how to tie your shoes.  You didn't like that.  You can do this too.
    Women are a constant in life.  You can't run away from them.  Many men actually become women (see HOMOSEXUALITY, YOUR).  You have at least one woman inside you, possibly more.  You are outnumbered.
    Feminism has refined our manners (see MANNERS).  The Doctor believes that we are here for a holiday.  A change.  Shooting-the-rapids sort of thing.  Soon we'll be back in our livingrooms watching TV.  Progress is the good we do while we're here, a natural offshoot of our divinity.  (But see MORALITY.)
    Many women are working towards a value-affirming committee-endorsed rapprochement after which everything will become smooth and predictable.  You regard this as a little ambitious but you play along.
    "Well then are you a feminist, Doctor?"
    "Not particularly."
    "Why not?"
    "I don't know.  Why am I not a Methodist?"
    "Perhaps you weren't born into a Methodist family."
    "Were you born into a feminist family?"
    "How do you know I'm a feminist?"
    "How do I know I'm sitting in a chair?"
    "Because your ass is going to sleep?"
    "That's exactly how I know you're a feminist."
    Remember, you're as good as they are.  You even have tits.